Moana’s Biggest Fan – Two Stories of Loss

This is a tale of two tragedies.

Firstly Wee Girl no longer loves Moana. It has hit us all hard but myself in particular as my wife no longer wants to watch it on repeat in the evening.

I have extended toilet breaks to watch clips on youtube and put flowers in my hair.

The second tragedy happened tonight and, thankfully, not to me but Wee Girl.

It was June. It was 28 degrees inside. That’s like 100089F for you people that don’t measure the temperature properly.

8:30pm and both children upstairs crying at the unbearable, draining, constant heat.

“RIGHT!” I remarked as I lifted my sweaty arse from the sofa and left the house.

Pub? Summer walk in peace? No I did what all Dads (and Mums/other guardians) would do. I went out and spent a fortune on 2 air blowing fan things.

I returned triumphant to find both sweaty children were downstairs but still crying. “BEHOLD KINDER! FATHER HAS BROUGHT YOU COOLNESS AND PEACE LIKE NEVER BEFORE!” I whispered.

Dilemma; Wee Girl was not keen on the fan. Less so it would be in her room.

Solution; “Ah but Wee Girl, this fan is a….Moana fan! It is the same one Moana has!”

Just turned 3 year olds believe anything, Moana does not have electricity.

By 9:20pm both children were fast asleep.

Roll on today. October 1st. The Moana fan has been on every night, all night since June. We have tried persuading, bribing, tricking Wee Girl into not having it on without success.

Tonight was different. Tonight I was reading the bedtime story (My Cat Likes to Hide in Boxes – an excellent read) with Moana fan blowing her cool air across us both when I envisaged it bursting into flames and killing us all.

Now I am not usually this kind of worrier, and anyway we have a smoke alarm..

…which won’t go off until Wee Girl’s room is full of smoke…

“Sorry Wee Girl, Moana fan is broken and it’s not cold so it’s going”

She was heartbroken. There was some genuine tears. But I calmly explained the situation and promised her Ribena and a prize with breakfast. This took the edge off.

Problem solved but now the word Moana will only bring pain and sadness to us both when it once brought so much happiness.

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