Our experience of keeping chickens…

Our chicken keeping experience was memorable to say the least.

Mummy McMumface was dead against it. One week later I was constructing Chicken Palace 1.0

It even had a conservatory for goodness sake.


I had been researching busily for weeks.

How to keep Roland the Rat out. How to keep them entertained. What to feed them and so on.

Luckily our cantankerous landlord liked animals so was happy for us to have them.

Now where to get them from? Through conversation it became apparent that my father in law knew “Big Dave”.

Turns out “Big Dave” had three feral raptors he no longer had use for…

There they were. The chickens of my dreams.


Of course they needed names: Princess Kate, Princess Fiona and Princess Cece.

Or KFC for short.

Turns out they were three cockerels in drag. They looked like hens but they sounded like boys and they laid no eggs. 

Did they have the finest chicken feed money can buy? Oh yes. 

Filtered water from the purest alpine peaks? Indeed.

Motivational coaches at their beck and call? Of course.

But no bastard eggs.

Rain or shine, fog or snow I went out every morning to feed, water and impart the news of the day. 

Rubber dummy eggs were bought. Inspirational poster were pasted on the inside of their coop.

Nothing. 

Then…one day…an egg!


I held it aloft like Rafiki held Simba. I alerted the local media.  A small sacrifice to the Gods was held in the form of fried egg. 


Then the egg gates opened and it was dippy eggs all round.


They only problem then was. We didn’t really eat a lot of eggs…

That aside the wonderful world of chickenry was open to us and it was great. 

Chicken Palace 1.1 was created to give them extra space but even though they seemed very happy and healthy, it still seemed a little small. 


So Chicken Palace 2.0 was born! 


I even spent a week making bunting to decorate this poultry paradise!


Yes a week!

KFC marvelled at their new abode and…

Princess Cece promptly escaped…

Now in case you didn’t know catching chickens is hard. 

Right it’s ok, she’s just in next doors garden.

Still ok she’s just down the path.

She’s on the road now, isn’t it a good thing we live in a quiet road?

Ok she’s going round the corner.

Oh is that car brakes and shouting I can here?

She was on the high street of our town. Did she use the pavement? 

Oh no! The middle of the road is the place to be!

So there was Princess Cece, myself, a band of “chicken expert” passer bys and our very own disgruntled convey of cars. 

After she had run the length of the high street for full embarrassment we cornered in someone’s front garden and I grabbed her. 

There was an approving tut from the passers by and even a few cheers from the now moving convey. 

There were many more adventures with these three hens believe me. 

When decided to move and we were leaving our rented house before we had bought. So our beautiful girls went to a local couple to add to their flock.

Now that Wee Girl is 2.5 (and we have a house!) it’s time to bring chickens back into our lives!!!

How eggsciting. 

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