The other day some bastards tried to get into our house.
We had a washing machine out the front ready to go to the tip this weekend. They had that. Then proceeded to look all around the car, bang on the door, try with some force to open the door, shout through the letterbox repeatedly, swear at Doggy Mcdogface before pissing off.
Mummy McMumface was upstairs with both children. I was on route to work.
Have you seen “The Equalizer”?
If not here is a trailer, it’s quite good:
Who I wished I was
Safe to say I phoned my boss and returned home.
MM was understandably very upset. I was very upset but trying to be calm. Wee Girl was being loud and Wee Man was staring at the ceiling (he is a baby)
Dog was a star. After months of telling her off for barking at the postman there is every chance her foot long frame scared off those bastards.
MM didn’t phone 999. Was this a proper emergency? No one had got in and they had gone. I would have done the same.
Makes you think, are we so British we need to be a stab wound in before we call in the troops?
Those bastards didn’t know MM and the children were in the house.
They were just opportunistic…people.
Doesn’t take away MM has jumped at every car today. Worst been the Amazon man delivering in a white van and standing at the side of the door.
He was delivering our new £200 CCTV system mind.
Before we had children I reckon either of us could have taken on Mike Tyson if he came into our house uninvited.
Now there is too much to lose and we would be far too tired.
MM felt hugely vulnerable and I felt like I hadn’t protected my family.
Anyway next time those bastards come anywhere near our house I will post their faces all over the Internet until they are haunted forever by gifs of themselves.